Goodbye, and thanks for all the memories
by Holix
Summary: A Mary Sue brings a Thirteen year old girl to Middle Earth to be her companion, to make her look better and help her fall in love with Leggy Poo. Added reality! No pairing.Is only an outlet for my Mary-Sue tendencies. Almost a parody.Bad yet entertaining
1. Scooby Doo

=O Holyyyee sshheeiiitt... so... uhm, yeah... a LOTR story with a twist~

A Mary Sue with an ACTUAL person! Woo~

Let's see what happens!

Elizabeth was thinking, thinking as hard as her perfect, cute, and impossibly pretty, gorgeous little head could think. She thought hard. Suddenly, a slightly original thought graced her perfect head, '_I know! I've gotta get a friend-servant-person! She'll be my be_st _friend that was the only person that kept me going when my meanie-poo-head uncle beat me every Tuesday! She'll get to know Leggy-poo and then she'll introduce me to him and me and Leggy will fall in love when he sees how weird and manly she is compared to me! And then we'll live happliy ever after! Yeah!'_

_'Don't worry Leggy, my love, we'll be reunited soon!'_

Jessica was bored. Really, really bored. It was the kind of boredom were you can't decide whether to finish watching some Scooby Doo movie, that started off with ' I, Cleopatra, the last of the Pharaoh's'... or Shark Week on the Discovery Channel. ... "Yikes! Jeepers! Where are you, Scooby Doo?" Suddenly, Shark Week was _very _entertaining. Have you ever been watching TV on your couch when suddenly you were watching a large, old tree laying several feet off the ground? Well, Neither has Jessica. Suddenly, something very green and brown was coming at her very fast, would it say "_Hi?" _... No, but it would give her a very harsh hug.

"Oh, holy hell. What just happened...?" Jessica groaned, flipping over, her eyes still tightly shut. She felt as though someone had ripped out her spleen and was beating her with it.

"Ah, you must be my new best friend and servant person!" Her eye's snapped open, taking in the… view in front of her.

_'Okay... What the hell_? _Best friend and servant-person? Something's… seriously off with this girl..._' Jessica's eyes were greeted with a pair of perfect feet in slippers and a skirt. Looking upwards to the face the aforementioned girl, she was met with perfection, the kind of perfection that just stabbed you in the face, over, and over, and over again. It was the burning kind. She was unusually tall, and wearing a bright, 'look-at-me' red, medieval-styled dress.

Now was probably a good time to stop staring up her dress and get up. Standing eye to eye, Jessy realized that she wasn't unusually tall, she was in fact about 5' 7 or so, the neck line on her dress was slightly too revealing, and she looked sixteen or seventeen, a few years older than the 5' 5 fourteen year old, dark-haired, dark-eyed, Asian girl looking up at her. Secondly, she noticed the impossibly large heaving chest the older girl possessed, and the tiny scar marring her perfect flesh just above her also perfect left cheek bone, slightly obscured by her super straight, super sexy, super perfect looking pale blond hair, with a matching vibrant blue right eye, and a vibrant green left eye.

"Oh, I can't use YOU! You're too ugly, I'm gonna have to change that. I mean, you can't be pretty like me," at this, she paused, and flapped a hand at nothing, as though waving away an impossible thought and giggled to herself, "well, _no one_ can be pretty like me," she tossed a lock of hair over her shoulder, "I _am_ me, after all!"

"_Change_ me? Okay, woman, what are you on?" Jessica glared at this ridiculously obnoxious girl standing in front of her.

"On? What ever do you mean? Your going to be my ticket to getting Leggy-poo to fall in love with me, but as my best friend and servant that talks in _third_ person, you just _can't_ be that ugly!! Okay, now stand still." She said, putting obnoxiously large amount of emphasis on the words "third" and "can't."

"What? Stand still with YOU? I don't _think_ so." Jessica started to move off when suddenly she couldn't, she was... tied up, with invisible rope?

"Now, as I said, stand still and let me make you pretty!" She sang the last bit, adding a long, drawn-out vibrato.

'_Holy shit, holy shit, holy SHIT! What the fuck?! I'm_ _tied up with NOTHING! And she's gonna perform plastic surgery! Okay, calm down, it's not like she's gonna perform it while I'm awake...'_

_"_Alright, I'm done." With a plastic smile of satisfaction, the older girl took a minor step back, as Jessica realized, to the place where she had originally been standing. When had she taken a step forward?

"Wait... what?!" Jessica blinked, feeling… no different, but a bit more confused.

"Are you deaf? I'm done!"

"... How...?"

"Oh, just look! Here." Jessica was handed an intricately carved mirror, but not that she noticed, in her hurry to see what she looked like. That mirror was very resistant to breaking when dropped, apparently.

"MOTHER-! What did you do!?!"

"I made you pretty, obviously, what does it look like?" Jessica looked... white, ish. Her formerly Asian nose had been altered to become a slim, American nose, and the only Asian remnants were her Asian eyes, and dark, black hair, which had become perfectly straight, curling in wispy locks at the bottom. Her beforehand slightly-too-thin-for-her-tastes hair had become quite full, soft, shiny, and overall perfected. Almost. It wasn't AS perfect as the older girls. Studying the rest of herself, she made two more discoveries, all excess fat had been stripped from her body, about ten pounds or so, she estimated, and she had more developed muscles.

"Okay, how the hell did you do that?"

"Wow, haven't you gotten it yet!? My name's Elizabeth, and I'm a Mary Sue!! That Jessy, means I can do _anything_! And, I. Need. You. _You_ are going to be _my_ servant and best friend. You are going to help Leggy fall in love with me! You are going to _help me_." Jessica's lip twitched, feeling as though if she was ever trapped in a room with this girl, she might drown in punctuation and italics.

"Okay, how the _hell_ did you know my name?" Elizabeth sighed rather dramatically.

"I've been studying you for a bit, you are the perfect person to make me seem even more perfect!" For a moment, she giggled to reflect on what she'd just said, as though it was silly. "Look, I'll even get someone for you! Now who do you want, Haldir? Aragon? Those twins? They're pretty hot." It was _Aragorn_, Jessica's mind mentally corrected.

"No one. I'm not going to help you." To say she looked stunned was a little bit of an understatement.

"Wha-wha-what?! You can't do that!"

"Oh? And why not?!" There was a small pause before an evil grin split across her perfect lips.

"Because, I can kill you, or, I can leave you out in the middle of Mordor, with the Orcs."

Well… huh. "Okay, fine, I'll help you, but I want something, I want to save three people."

"Fine, who?"

"Haldir, Boromir, and Kind Theoden."

:D So... Yeah, review, tell me if I should continue or leave it! Dun dun dun. It's just a start, so it, as always, is teh suckzors.


	2. Alex?

Holy woo, yey! Eight hits and one review! Awesome'z! ... Oh Jesus, that pretty pathetic, isn't it? ;_; I get excited easily. Well, anyway, I would like to see at least three or four reviews before my next update. Please? Which will probably be this weekend, and ja. Stuff. If I get a good amount of reviews, I JUST might finish the story. But, ja, I digress. Suggestions, as always, are welcome, and for further reference, there's probably gunna be no pairing. I mean, c'mon, people, the second to youngest person is like, twice her age. Any who... Thankies to my first reviewer! They are quite awesome! And I WILL add background to Jessy, but it'll come later. Eventually. Anyway, onto the story!~

"Alex!"

"Who-da-what-now?" Jessica raised an eyebrow.

"Alex! Your new name is Alex."

"What? Why?"

"Jessica is to womanly for you."

'_Too womanly? What the hell does THAT mean?' _The indignation of having to talk with Elizabeth… well, it was getting to her._ 'Gah, calm down, calm down, it's for the three! They're worth it, hopefully...' _Jessica sighed, severely annoyed.

"...Fine, I can deal with Alex."

"Good, and remember, talk in third person." Do you know when you meet someone and you both just hit it off? Well, this isn't one of those times. But then again, who COULD deal with a Mary Sue and get along with her?

"Fine, so what's my background?" Jessica crossed her arms. She figured if she was going to do this, she might as well do it well, right?

"Background? What do you mean?"

"Where I'm 'from', how long I've 'served' you, my 'family history', that kind of thing. And what's YOUR cover story, anyway?" Jessica tapped her foot, waiting for her response. In the back of her mind, she had the deep suspicion that Elizabeth _had_ no plan. She hoped she was wrong.

"Hmmf, you ask too many questions." The blonde tossed a lock of hair over her shoulder, looking down at her.

"Don't avoid the questions."

"Your from the Black Talon clan, you've been my servant all your life, and your clan lost a war to my house, the house of the White Lily, and your all disgraceful, dirty slobs."

"... Lovely. And _you_ managed to cook this up all by yourself?" '_Black Talon, huh? Well, at least it sounds cool... Who am I kidding? Sounds like a bad Saturday morning cartoon title.'_

"Yes. Yes I did." The not _THAT_ subtle insult flew right over her head, and she called _me_ stupid? Man, the pride in this woman... Jessica shook it off. She'd be stuff with this girl for a while, so she'd better start getting used to it. "Now, to see King Elrond!" The nearest tree's bark was quite easily splintered off, as "Alex's" now-prickly forehead dually noted.

"Oh Sweet Fayore, I'm doomed." She groaned, closing her eyes.

"Third person!!"

"Fine, fine, whatever, _Master._"

"Master? I like the sound of that."

"Oh dear Lord, what have I done…" Her shoulder's slumped, but she forced herself not to drag her feet as she continued to trail behind her new Master, wondering if she had any idea of where she was going.

"Third person!!" Oh yeah, this would be fuuuunnn…

"Halt!" Alex froze, caught by border patrol. Desperately, she hoped Elizabeth had a cover story of some sort. Some reason for them not to be shot on site. Apparently not... "What is your business here? Speak!"

"Uhh, uhh...." Elizabeth faltered, looking like a cute doe, caught in the headlights of a semi. With a bow.

'_Well, we're screwed.'_ The younger girl sighed, tempted to run her hands through her hair out of pure frustration. The arrow tip pointing at her made her rule that out as an option. How were they ever going to get through all of this?

"Speak quickly!" The thing looked at Alex, pleading for help.

Alex sighed, '_And here I go! To save the God damned day...' _"My master and Alex are seeking to hold a council with your Lord. We mean no disrespect." She hoped this wouldn't get them shot. She really did.

"Lord Elrond? What would two human females have to talk with him about?" Again, Elizabeth remained, wide-eyed and staring. Survival instincts of a Lemming, that one, Alex thought bitterly.

'_Shit, Blondie, didn't you think any of this through...?' _Apparently, she didn't. "Please, my master's plight is urgent, we must not waste time."

"I cannot allow you to pass unless I receive an answer, for the safety of my people. But tell me, why does the servant speak and the Master remain silent? Can she not speak?"

"My master wishes to speak only when necessary. We mean to disrespect, Lord. Please, can you at least tell your Lord of my Master's arrival?"

"I can, you will remain here with my other companions, if you attempt to leave, you will be stopped." Stopped…? With definite certainly, Alex didn't like the sound of that. Was it the 'halt!' stop, or the 'twang! …AUGH!' stopped? She didn't want to find out.

Alex tilted her head, eyebrows creasing at his words. '_Other compa-_ _HOLY HELL! Where did they come from?!' _Alex spoke of the four other elves that appeared out of thin air from the bushes, of course.

When the ellon finally returned, he looked even more suspicious of them. "Rivendell bids you welcome, my Ladies."

The movies did NO justice what so EVER on the elven haven... It was beautiful... Elizabeth seemed mildly impressed, and Alex was trying to not gape and still look servantly at the same time, which is surprisingly hard. One day, she would have to remember to thank Mark for the acting lessons.Alex soon turned her attention to the maze of corridors two ellons were leading them down. 'She thanked the gods for her good memory. This place was too confusing for its own good.It was true, all the hallways seemed to be built off the same plan, with just slightly different alterations, themes, and decor. After almost five whole minutes, they arrived at two large, Oak double door's.

"Welcome. Caleb, Alquamim, you may take your leave. Now, I understand you two are here to hold a council with me?"

'_... Yes, Agent Elrond... Oh my jeeze, I'm horrible. Ha, maybe if I wasn't from South California I wouldn't know so many movie's... Ah hell, who cares?'_ Alex focused on keeping a servantly posture, and, more importantly, a straight face.

"Yes, I, Lady Elizabeth, from the honorable house of the White Lily, have traveled over many great seas to hold council with you, Elrond!" She stated with as much drama

as possible, as they sat down on the chairs provided.

'_Twitch those eyebrows, dude! Wait, did she just forget his tile? Way to go, ditz...'_ She managed to hold back the sigh, just before it escaped her lips. Her mouth had parted slightly in preparation for it and everything. Instead, she swallowed and stared at the ground humbly.

_"_And of your companion?"

"Wha-? Oh, _her._ She's nothing but my servant."

"I see."

'_Must... not... zone out...' _Alex's eye twitched, and she stared at the interesting patterns of Elrond's desk. Was everything here carved and beautiful? Probably, she figured.

_"_But what is the purpose of your coming here, my lady?"

"I have come..." Elizabeth stated overly dramatically. Again. _Man_ was it annoying... " To tell you, that I am a warrior seer, a seer that has had a vision of the Ring, the One Ring. And I have come to make sure that all the events of the Fellowship happen like they're supposed to!!"

'_Way to go, dipshit, reveal the future... and sound stupid while you're at it, too' _Elrond looked quite surprised, suspicious, and yet still was good-natured enough to believe her. She kind of hoped he would learn better soon. But then, maybe not. After all, where Elizabeth goes, she was stuck following.

Elrond eyed her carefully, sizing her up with a calculating stare. Reluctantly, he spoke, " …I see. In a few weeks from now, I am holding a council about the Ring. You and your servant, if you see fit, shall attend."

"Yes, I shall be there!" She smiled, blinding Elrond a little as the light reflected off her whitened teeth. With an unnecessary flourish, she stood.

"Good, Caleb and Alquamim shall show you both to your rooms."

"Thank you Elrond."

'_Again with the eye_ _twitch.' _Elizabeth immediately turned and waited impatiently for thepoor ellon next to her to offer her his hand, and Alex got up slowly, with a weak smile, bowing to Lord Elrond before exiting to the other unoccupied ellon, who was smirking at his unfortunate kin. He proffed his hand to Alex. With slight reluctance and awkwardness, she took it, glancing at him to lead the way. This whole gentleman thing was new to her. In a way, it was nice being treated delicately. But, in another sense, it was a bit insulting.

As soon as they exited out of the corridor, rounding the corner, Alex let out asigh, her posture straightening itself back out some. The next few moments were filled with silence, the ellon steering Alex toward her room.

"Are you really Lady Elizabeth's servant?

"Is it that obvious?"

"Only a little." Sarcasm was the same in every language. Even one's that you magically learn when they get implanted into your head via Sue-magic.

"Damn." The ellon's right eyebrow skyrocketed upward.

"My lady... Did you just swear?"

"No, my lord, I did not." Alex answered with a cheeky grin. The ellon's eyebrow raised was further upward, meanwhile a grin spread across his lips.

"I see, I did not mean to jump to such a conclusion, mellon."

'_Friend, eh? Cool, well, let's play the ditz and not know what mellon means_.' Alex suppressed a grin, cocking her head to the side, and opting for a curious look, instead. "Mellon?"

"Ah, forgive me, Westron is not my native tongue."

"No, it's quite alright, Westron is not my native language either."

"Of course, so, if I may ask, little one, what is your name?"

"I'll give you mine if you give me yours." Alex grinned; this was an elf she could like. These elves, while pretty to look at, and very proper… well, she just didn't care for them. They were nice, but that was about it. Her grin was matched yet again by the ellons.

"Fine, my name, young one, is Alquamim, and as agreed, what is yours?"

"Alex, my lord."

"Alex, what a strange name"

"As I could say the same to you, Al, if I may."

"Al? I suppose so, but what is wrong with my name?" He cocked his head to the side, curious, but playful. She was a cute human. While he'd never minded the sophistication of his people, he found the company of young humans… enjoyable. It was unsophisticated, unruly, and could be very fun.

"Nothing, my dear Al, I just like nicknames."

"I see... Al."

"Al... Al's a males name."

"Oh, I apologies, then, Lady Alex."

"You know, formalities aren't really necessary. And since when did you start calling me "Little one" and "Young one"?"

Alquamim raised an eyebrow, "beyond the two minutes or so that I have known you?" He grinned, "since right about now, then, I would warrant a guess."

"I see. And you never answered my question."

"What question, may I ask, was that?"

"What does 'mellon' mean?"

"It means 'friend', little one."

Yey~ Alex has made a fwend! I feel a bit bad for Caleb, though.... Getting stuck with the It. Now, what should I do next? Tell meh! Clicky the review button, please! It lurvles you! ... Melon has one 'l', doesn't it?... Oh hell, I don't wanna change it.. Wait... no, it's got two, right? Arg....


	3. Slightly creepy

Okay... So I WASN'T able to update soon enough... My compy hates meh. Soo... Yeah. Double post!! Oh yes, and last I checked, I got like fourty-something hits? Teh-awesom, I tell you. But-! I still want more reviews! Or else I'll make Jessy angst on ya! Fear it!! Anyway... On to the story.

Apparently, camo hasn't been invented yet. Well, Jessy knew that, but apparently, even though no one has ever worn camo in Middle Earth before, it's still ' a mans' clothing. One that's 'not fit for a young lady'. ... Blasted elves...

"Mellon!"

"Huh? Oh, hello Al." Alex paused for a moment, the thought of the impending council looming over her.

_"_ Lord Legolas, a childhood friend of mine, has just arrived! Shall we go greet him?"

"Sure, I'm gunna have to go and become a servant again, though." '_Might as well at least kinda try to look like I'm helping her'_

"Honestly, Alex, you really shouldn't trouble yourself with this deal, just tell Lord Elrond, he would help, I know it."

"Al, I know it, too. Now shall we go meet your friend and my 'masters' lust object?"

"You really are going to go through with your deal, aren't you?"

"Yep."

"Alright, if that's your final decision, let's go. I feel for Legolas, though. What are you getting out of this, anyway?"

" Yeah, it sucks to be him, and no, you don't get to know. Now, lead the way, Al."

"Fine, fine, be that way."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Intermission!

... Legolas is _very_ tall. Like the 6'2 kind of tall... He's evil. And the movies failed when giving him blue eyes. Legolas had gray eyes, apparently. Not blue.

"Legolas! My friend, how have you been?"

"Alquamim?"

"Who else would it be?"

"... You haven't changed a bit, have you?"

" Not really. But, I do have a new friend."

"Gone and replaced me, have you?" The happy couple was now bickering merrily to each other as Jessica walked behind them quietly, wishing for pockets in her skirt.

"Replaced you, huh? Ha! I could and would never, mellon. Not in a millennia, trust me, I've tried."

"Your a _wonderful_ friend. But where this new friend you speak of?"

"Right behind you." Legolas turned around quickly scanning the area and landing on Jessy.

"Oh! How could I no have noticed you, I apologies."

"Oh, their is no reason to apologies, Lord."

"Legolas, meet Alex, Alex, meet Legolas."

"Greetings, my Lady."

"Greetings, my Lord."

"You two are much to formal." Jessy shot him a look, _this_ coming from a guy she had to _teach_ to not say 'Lady' every time he greeted her? Men... Doesn't seem to matter what species they are... Al shot her a cheeky grin, and Jessy rolled her eyes skyward. Somehow, this all escaped the attention of our own personal prince of Mirkwood.

"It that... It is! Alquamim, my dear friend, you neglected to mention that Aragorn and Mitherander were here." Legolas chasted Al

"Ah, I'm sorry my friend, it must have slipped my mind" Al apologized. Jessy was all but forgotten between the two long time friends.

'_They're much to happy to bother, I think I'll go find a nice place to get away from it all... Screw the deal for now, I'll get to know him during the journey, anyway.'_

The good thing about Rivendell was that there really were very few inhabitants. Which made it easy to be alone.

"Your have a point, Legolas, I suppose. What do you think, Aragorn, Alex?"

"Alquamim, what are you talking about? Who is this 'Alex' you speak of?" Aragorn asked Al, slightly concerned for the ellon's sanity.

"What? Where did she... Legolas, did you see her leave...?"

"No... She must have slipped away, before we met Aragorn..." Legolas reasoned.

"Should I assume you two have driven away another maiden with your insistent bickering, or that all elves have lost their sanity?" Aragorn inquired sarcastically. The two glared half-heartedly at the troubling Heir of Isildur." ... Come now, we must find this maiden you speak of and quickly. The sun will be setting in an hour or so."

"So it will, we've spent far to long catching up on everything, how long have we been talking to you, Aragorn?"

" A few hours, I believe. You better hope your lady friend is forgiving."

"Don't worry, she won't mind, I'm sure."

" You shouldn't assume the personalities of women, Alquamim."

"Are you speaking from personal experience, my friend?" Al asked, eyebrow raised skyward.

"Wha-? Oh, hold your tongue, Alqy." Aragorn countered with Al's much hated childhood nickname. Al glared at Aragorn, clearly annoyed.

" Now young en's, you two better stop bickering like children. We've got a precious maiden to find, apologies and meet, too." Legolas all but giggled out, suppressing a large, un-elf-like grin.

"What? Like you two do, whenever you see each other?" Aragorn grinned; attempting to save what little pride he had left at this point. Al opened and closed him mouth several times, but eventually shut it, unable to find a good comeback, as did Legolas, similarly. (Aren't they lovely? Manly bickering, and all…)

Jessy was currently being eaten alive. By guppies, in a calm, placid lake near the outskirts of Rivendell, on occasion giggling at the tickling sensation. Her giggle was cut short by the snapping of twigs and bickering. It must have been the bickering couple.

"What should we get for Frodo, Merry?" or not.

"I don't know, Pip. What about Sam, though, he's hardly left Frodo's side, especially since he woke up. Maybe we should go and get him a good breakfast, bright and early, tomorrow. Well, maybe not bright and early... Maybe for lunch, then."

"Okay, so we get lunch for Sam tomorrow, and... uhmm... more food for Frodo when he wakes up!"

"What kind of food, Pip?"

"Uhh... whatever kind he wakes up to!"

"What? Your not making sense, Pip."

"Ya know, If he wakes up during the morning, we'll give him breakfast!"

"First or second breakfast?"

"Which ever he wakes up closest to!" Pippin shouted, full of excitement.

"Keep your voice down! We don't want all of Rivendell to hear our plans."

"Why not?"

"Well... Cause... It' a secret plan! And we can't go around telling people about our secret plan. Then it wouldn't be secret." Merry finished lamely with a few wild gesticulations.

'_Making plans to give food to Frodo and Sam? Well, that's not hobbity at all.' _

Jessy put her hand on the ground and leaned forward, hoping to hear more of the hobbits conversation, but a soft snapping noise stopped her. '_Oops' _She had put her weight on a brittle stick.

"Who's there?" Merry demanded, immediately coming through the short amount of bush separating Jessy from the dynamic duo, Pippin trailing behind.

Jessy stared at the two Hobbits, with a "deer caught in the headlights look" clearly plastered over her face, hand still resting on the broken stick.

"Oops, sorry miss, my cousins just a little jumpy, I guess..." Pippin volunteered.

"Oh, it's no problem, good sir's." Jessy murmured, snapping out of it.

"Merry and Pippin, if ya would, miss." They chimed simultaneously.

'_Slightly creepy, but okay.' "_ Of course, Merry, Pippin."

"You can call me Pip if ya like, too."

"If that's what you wish."

"So, miss, what's your name?" Merry asked, slightly curious.

"Alex."

" 'Alex'? What a weird name..."

"Pippin! Have some tact. Sorry Alex." Said Alex let out a small giggle at their ever-so-amusing antics.

"No, it's quite alright, and to be honest, Alex must agree."

"See Merry? Even she argees." The two looked at each other briefly for a second.

"Yeah, true. But, by the way, where are you from? I've never heard of a name like yours, before." Merry asked.

" Alex comes from a land over sea's. From far, far away." _ 'Damn that sounded cheesy_...' Pippin and Merry plopped down next to her, letting their feet get eaten alive, too. The rest of the night consisted of weaving carefully spun lies of Jessy's 'life,' making sure not to hit her past as much as possible.

I has a tater. :D The review button lurvels youuuu...

I has reference now!

I'm... Bored... And in need of better ideas. Ideas. Ideas plz (GASP! Fear teh 'plz')


	4. And their off!

Woo~ Chappie four, and at this point, I've only submitted the first chapter. xD And I'm watching the end part of the Fellowship of the ring, and it's giving me idea's for a LOTR plus a large, black, scary dog-type fic. Or somethin'. Should I go through with it? ... A Hellsing Hellhound type dog... Yeah... No, I will not change it to a Poodle. :D Uuuhhhmmm.... Yeah... I'ma... Go... Right! On to the story!

"Alex!"

"Hmm? What is it, Al?"

"Sorry about two days ago, I guess Legolas and myself got kind of..."

"Distracted?"

"Yes, kind of."

"No, it's alright." Al immediately dashed away, shouting a quick;

"Thanks, mellon!"

"Of course." Jessy said, now out of ear shot of the elf, as he dashed around a nearby corner.

"I told you Aragorn, she would forgive us."

"Us? You mean you."

"Yes, I meant that." Al muttered.

The council was, to say the least, relatively boring. Jessy let her mind wander on occasion, but only a few minutes at a time. Elizabeth wasn't even paying attention to the council; her eyes were glued to her Leggy-poo. The sounds of arguing brought Jessy and Elizabeth out of each other's respective trances of sorts. But unlike Elizabeth, Jessy found it wise in situations like this to shut up.

"I will take it! I will take it!" The arguing quieted down to stare at the brave voice. " I will take the Ring, thought I do not know the way." Jessy watched the pledging of lives to our little hero, and the stupidity of Pippin. Finally, Lord Elrond spoke.

"So be it, the Company of the Ring shall be Nine, and the Nine Wa-"

"WAIT!" Elizabeth screamed, "I, Lady Elizabeth of the White House of the Lily, a seer and warrior to these events, will aid you on your journey. And my servant shall join us."

"Beggin' your pardon, Miss, but what do you mean by 'seer'?" Sam inquired. Elizabeth look surprised that he could even form coherent words.

"I... I'm a warrior seer?" Elizabeth half asked hopefully. Jessy rolled her eyes; did she ever think things through thoroughly?

"If Alex may, my Master..."

"Of course!" Elizabeth answered much to speedily, making it obvious to the council that the servant was saving the Master from either ill planning or stupidity.

"My Master and Alex come from over the Western sea's. My Master has had a vision, a vision of the events following the One Ring. My Master wishes only to help aid the course of our victory." Jessy finished, trying to sound as truthful as possible. They bought it. Kinda. Several of the members of the Fellowship-to-be looked a little more than weary of Elizabeth, only Merry and Pippin seemed to give Jessy a glance.

"So be it, Lady Elizabeth of the House of the White Lily and her servant shall join the Nine Walkers. The Eleven shall depart in seven days time. This, was going to suck. A lot.

Jessy was at the practice field, watching Elizabeth practice. She sucked. The only thing she was good with was the bow. Shocking, ain't it? Gimli, Aragorn, Legolas, and Boromir were there, Legolas was the only one practicing, The others were watching Elizabeth. And cringing.

"You. Servant of Lady Elizabeth, can you fight?" Boromir asked.

"Yes, Lord, why do you inquire this?" Jessy asked, she was going have to show him, wasn't she?...

"What do you fight with?"

"Long Knives." '_Yeah, I'm going to have to show him_..._ He shouldn't ignore my question, either, but oh well_.' Thanking any sort of benevolent being she could think of for her years of gymnastics, and her father for teaching the basics of weaponry.

"Any other weapons?"

"Yes, Alex knows how to handle a bow and sword. Alex is less accurate with them, though." In truth, she was about equal with all three weapons, but she had always had a preference for the knives.

"Show me, start with long knives." Aragorn suddenly commanded from out of the blue.

"Of course, though Alex does not posses weapons of her own."

"Take mine." Legolas volunteered, handing Jessy a pair of long, thin blades.

'_Well, shoot. Here we go...'_

Boromir stepped in front of Jessy, drawing out his sword, "Come at me, when you're ready." Jessy flipped the knife in her left hand so the blade was facing downward, and pulled her arm's closer to her body, taking almost a boxer-like stance. Boromir and the others said nothing of the odd stance. Jessy charged at him, aiming to run the left-hand blade up Boromir's jaw. She was easily blocked, but that wasn't her real intention, anyway. Jessy then slammed her foot down on Boromir's, surprising him with her dirty tactics, he pushed back against the blade suddenly, making Jessy loose her balance, she managed to flip back on all fours, her foot accidentally connecting with the tip of Boromir's chin.

'Wh_oops, well at least those four years of gymnastics have finally come in handy.'_

Jessy plunged the knife into the ground, stopping her from further sliding, barely managing to keep her balance. "Enough." Boromir commanded, checking his chin, no blood. "The first blow has been struck. This was all I wanted to see from you."

"I've never seen a fighting style like yours. I suppose It can be used for defense, but you waste too much energy with that back flip." Boromir said, after a few seconds of contemplation.

"Alex shall consider your advice gratefully, Lord." Alex said, with a slight inclination of her head.

"You said you could wield a bow?" Elizabeth had stopped practicing to glare at Jessy, why was she getting all the attention, especially from Leggy?

"Yes, but Alex is not very good with it." '_Not again...'_

"I shall teach you, then." Legolas stated. Jessy did not miss the glare Elizabeth was sending her way.

"My Lord, that is not necessary."

"I insist."

'_Crap.'_ "If you insist so, Lord."

"I do, and as we are to travel together, I also insist that you call me Legolas."

'_She's going to rip my guts out... but oh well.'_ "Of course," Jessy let herself pause, as if unsure, "Legolas..." '_Awesome, I'm on first name terms with a prince.'_

"Alright, here, show me what you can do." Legolas handed his bow and quiver to Jessy.

'_This, is going to suck. I haven't practiced in forever...' _Jessy took the bow and knocked an arrow, pulled back, and aimed.

"Your posture's too stiff. Relax." Jessy took a deep breath, and relaxed. Sort of, she fired, hitting the outside ring. Barely. "Try again." Jessy knocked another arrow and aimed. Hands appeared beside her own, and guided her aim. Jessy had a hot elven prince coaching her, could life get better? " Do I have to tell you again?" Jessy relaxed.

"Good. Now let go." The arrow landed just outside the center ring. "Much better. Try it by yourself this time." Jessy once again, strung another arrow. She took aim, and fired. It landed at little outside of the third ring. "Good, good, now do another dozen shots like that."

'_Aww man...' _ Jessy once again strung Legolas's bow and fired again, the majority of the shots getting closer and closer to the center ring, ever so slowly. The last two shot's landed in the second ring.

"Good." Elizabeth's glare still drilled through Jessy's head like a jackhammer, she glanced at Elizabeth and shrugged… Aragorn would test her sword skill later…

After that day in the training field, no one from the Fellowship really talked to Jessy much, with the occasional "Hello" from a passing Merry and Pippin. In fact, the majority of the inhabitants of Rivendell took next to no notice of Jessy, it seemed. And Al was much to busy bickering with Legolas and Aragorn to notice Jessy, the hobbits stuck with the other hobbits, Gimli with his kin, Gandalf with Elrond, or off by himself, doing wizardly-things, and Boromir was never to be found, accept during meals and at the training grounds, occasionally. He seemed to not like elves.

But on the bright side, though, Elizabeth wasn't much better off than Jessy; although, unlike Jessy, she sought out people to annoy to no end. After the first two days of not being noticed, Jessy began to wonder vaguely how long it would take for anyone (excluding Elizabeth) to notice if she just plain old left. '_Ah well, this "not being noticed" thing might come in handy in the future... Especially in battle.'_ Jessy reasoned. Luckily, Jessy had never been one to constantly crave personal attention. Being around someone was usually sufficient.

The day arrived, December twenty-fifth, and the Fellowship set out, with Elizabeth clinging to Legolas non-stop, Gandalf leading the way, and Jessy in the back, trailing behind Sam, who looked torn between Bill and Frodo. The days and nights passed quickly (with the occasional hiding from crebain), and as Jessy predicted, no one talked with her much, which wasn't surprising, since there was not much talking in general. Except for Sam, who she rather liked.

After a fortnight or so, the day finally arrived, Boromir was teaching Merry and Pippin swordplay, Gandalf and Aragorn were arguing about what to do next, Gimli was smoking, Legolas and Frodo were thinking, (and watching Boromir, Merry, and Pippin) Sam was cooking, Elizabeth was, as always, glued to Legolas. The night before she had gone to bed next to Legolas, and had through out the course of the night, tried to get into his blankets, several times. She failed. And Jessy was half watching for the birds, half thinking of a saying to own Gimli with, and half looking for a possible place to hide. Suddenly, she spotted it, just behind the now tackled over Boromir, and to the left of the defeated Aragorn. (She suppressed a giggle) It was a bush.

"What's that?"

"Nothing, just a wisp of smoke." Waving the cloud away without looking at it.

"The blind cannot say for sure the color of the sky, Master Gimli..." Jessy said. Gimli raised a brow at the quote, (as did a Gandalf, and dare we say it, Legolas?)

"It's moving fast and against the wind."

"Crebain from Dunland. Hide!" Aragorn yelled. (At this point, Jessy dived for the bush she had carefully scoped out) It seemed like forever ticked by as the crebain flew by overhead. The bush was slightly too small to hide her easily. After the crebain were far enough away, everyone came out of their respective hiding places. Shockingly, Elizabeth had picked the same spot as Legolas, and by the look on his face, had attempted to become one with him. All hell broke loose as to where to go next.

Wooo~ To teh pharmacy, to give people their . I has a Chinese Rolex!

School starts tomorrow, it's teh suckzors.

And yes, I know that on the day the Council of Elrond is held, they leave, but I'm too lazy, so I'm stretching the time-stuffs. I've got all the dates of when stuff happens.


	5. Saved!

Watching teh movie. Of Ring-y-ness.

Caradhas was COLD. '_I HATE snow...' _The only one who didn't seem to mind to much was Legolas, damn his temperature ineffability... The worst off were the Hobbits and Bill. Ponies are not made for snow. Neither are Hobbits.

Suddenly, Frodo lost his balance. '_Here we go...' _Frodo searched his chest frantically. All eyes went to Boromir, the holder of the Ring. '_I need a knife to cut through this tension..'_ Tense moments passed as words were exchanged, finally, Boromir handed it back to Frodo, who snatched it back, feverently checking it over before letting the chain rest upon his chest. Boromir's brotherly ruffling did nothing to ease the minds of the company.

"There is a fell voice in the air!"

"It's Saruman!" The voices were drowned out by the sheer power of the storm, leaving Jessy and Bill oblivious to their warnings. Snow came crashing down on Jessy and poor Bill without warning. Jessy gasped, inhaling a mouthful of snow, she desperately clawed toward what had to be the top, only to have a hand plummet down out of nowhere and pull her up. It was Boromir.

"Thanks." Jessy gasped out, spitting out a mouthful of snow.

"Anytime." Boromir grinned.

'_My arm is going to be ripped from its socket!' "_My Lord, is it possible that you could give Alex her arm back?" Jessy questioned

"Of course." Boromir finished sheepily, putting her down gently.

"Let the Ring bearer decide."

'_And... They're off!... This, is going to suck.'_

_"_We head to the Mines of Moria."

"So be it." The fear in Gandalf's voice could be heard clearly from miles away. So began their descent down the mountain.

Damn you, Frodo.

Finally, it was night; they had long reached the end of the mountain. We rest here for the night.

The fellowship bed down, separating slightly from the girls, to give them room. Which wasn't necessary, because Elizabeth laid down next to Legolas, practically slipping into his blankets. Legolas looked warily at his makeshift bed.

"I will take first watch." It was obvious he was getting away from her.

"Don't you want to come to bed, Leggy?" Elizabeth said, her voice like honey over venom, trying the nickname for the first time in public.

"No, my Lady, and it's Lord Legolas." shot down. Ha. Elizabeth looked hurt, but Legolas did nothing but look cold to her. Jessy watched as slowly, the Fellowship fell asleep, one by one.

'_Will that child ever give up on me?' _ It was several hours into the shift, and Elizabeth was finally asleep. '_I hope so, I do not know how long she will keep lusting after me, and the way her servant tries to help her... however subtle it may be.' _he would wake Aragorn soon, but not before he moved his blankets to another area, as far away from her as possible. Sudden stirring brought Legolas out of his musing. He glanced over, it was just Frodo.

"Your shift should have been over nearly an hour ago, Legolas." Legolas jumped at the quiet, smooth, female voice.

'_Alex' "_You should not be up at this hour, Alex. A human girl your age should be fast asleep by now."

"What brings you to the conclusion that I sleep that long on average?" Legolas looked surprised.

'_She_ _did not refer to herself in third person._..' "Alex, you referred to yourself as 'I'." Alex smiled.

"... Legolas, think of what you have seen about me, my actual personality, does it seem like I lack that much self confidence to refer to myself in third person naturally?" In truth, Legolas was not sure, he had rarely spoken to her, and when he had, she'd always seemed to... lack a personality. He assumed she was a passive, quiet and possibly shy girl. But now that he thought about it, it did seem like a thin personality...

"I suppose so, but if that is true, then why would you refer to yourself as such?"

"A..." she trailed off, she wanted to tell him of the deal, but she was sure it would end badly, one way or another. "I am but a servant, she, my master." It was an answer filled with bull, but he seemed to buy it.

"I see. But servant or not, you should not degrade yourself so."

"Thank you for your consideration, but there are deeper reasons at play."

"What do you mean?" he asked, curious. Jessy smiled, he was sweet, trying to help her.

"It is not my duty and doubtfully my master's will to tell you these unclean reasons."

"If she has forced you into servitude, tell me. She has no right." He said, an angered glint in his eyes. The cruelty some of the race of men may possess was unfathomable. To unjustly enslave another…

"No, that is hardly it, Lord. But my servitude is of little concern to you." he looked long and hard at Jessy, deciding weather or not to drop the matter.

"… I see. If you are sure." He was obviously uncertain.

"I am so, Legolas."

"Then I suppose I shall bid you good night, I should wake Aragorn for his watch. You should go to sleep though, Alex."

"Of course, I'll see you in the morning?"

"I do not believe I will be anywhere else, Alex."

"See you then." Jessy turned around and walked back to her bedroll with a casual flick of her wrist, two digits only half-heartedly extended; in what seemed to be a trademark goodbye.

Legolas watched her for a few seconds before heading over to Aragorn to wake his companion and share his news. Aragorn had told Legolas of his well-founded doubts, but now it seemed the foreign Lady could be a real enemy, and not just deadweight.

Yay. School has started. .


	6. Evil plot much?

... I steal yer puppies! 'Nyway... okay, to the guy who believes that bashing the writers self-confidence to death is the right way to get them to improve their writing: One, I don't really care what you think, and two, I know I suck at writing, you don't need to tell me what I already know. Oh yeah, and to all those who reviewed, and gave me ideas, comments, and corrections, thank-ee. And yeah, I think Legolas was OOC in my first chapter version, too. (I still think he's kinda OOC, but oh well)

The pelvis makes a good bowl for organs.

Morning dragged it's head over the mountain, but the fellowship was already up and moving. They were going to get attacked, not that any of them realized it, of course.

"There are howl's in the wind!" Aragorn warned. The company drew various weapons, the girls and hobbits in the middle. The Eleven tightened their grip on their weapons as the howls neared. Large, various colored eyes stared menacingly at the company. A few Wolves sprung from the shrubbery (the knights who say, "Nee!") and attacked whoever they could sink their claws into. (Mainly Aragorn and Gandalf) The sound of howling, bow twanging, and sword slicing began. And war cries, we mustn't forget the war cries.

In the midst of all the fighting, Jessy and the hobbits weren't really doing anything. Elizabeth had gone off to go find Legolas and do... something Mary-Sue-ish. Jessy, on the other hand, looked vaguely like she wanted to either kill a Wolf, or herself. Merry and Pippin looked on with growing excitement, getting themselves pumped up to try and take on a Wolf together. Sam looked slightly fearful, but was braving it through, anyway. And Frodo, well... he was being angst-y, in the middle of battle, again. Somehow. They all had their choice pointy objects out. Merry and Pippin charged the nearest Wolf, and Sam and Frodo soon followed in example. Jessy still stood there, a few seconds ticked by as her brain, furiously racing, got nowhere. She found a Wolf. Or rather, it found her. The runt of the pack charged sloppily at her; Jessy ran toward it, and plunged the twin knifes into it's brain. The force of the Wolf's paw hitting Jessy's arm as it collapsed loosened her grip on the blade. The unscathed (aside from the forming bruise) Jessy stood stock still for a millisecond, registering what just happened, before charging off toward the last remaining Wolf.

Gimli beat her to it.

"Gotta be faster than that, lass." He said, wrenching his axe from the over-sized Wolf's skull. A few minutes scrambled by as the Fellowship cleaned up a little and checked for injuries.

By nightfall, they had reached the Gates of Moria. And here is where we shall let the frustration and complexion of incredibly simple yet confusing riddles begin.

After hours of sitting, pretending to not know the answer to a riddle that's just that annoyingly simple, yet still somehow complex, it really gets to a person. Elizabeth was bothering Legolas to keep busy. Again. (Surprising, ain't it?)

Finally, Legolas gave her a glare and said something that Jessy didn't catch. Elizabeth looked shocked, offended, and hurt. She stalked away and marched up to the door. Pippin had a sudden light in his eyes and turned to Gandalf opening his mouth.

"Mellon!" Elizabeth shouted angrily and stalked through the now opening doors. The rest of the Fellowship stared at her back before quickly following her.

"Lady Elizabeth, how did you know the password to open the door?" Gandalf inquired sternly, Aragorn, Boromir, Gimli, and the rest of the Fellowship eyed her suspiciously. Elizabeth glared at him, but swallowed her (not too friendly) words.

"I know many secret things." She said defiantly. "I AM a warrior seer, remember?" An audible smack was heard from the back of the group, coming from Jessy.

'_Nice... just nice._'

"What else do you know?" Gandalf took hold of her shoulder, stopping her from walking in her brisk circles.

"I can't tell you. Now let go of me!" She said, swiping his hand off her shoulder. Gandalf looked at her hard through the thick darkness that they were encased in before reaching into his pocket.

"So be it." Gandalf stated.

"Now that that's gone and done with, shall we find my cousin, Balin, where we will be treated with a royal welcome?" Gimli said excitedly. "Come master elf, let me show you the fabled hospitality of the Dwarves! Ripe meat off the bone, and sweet ale!" Gandalf put the stone into his staff and breathed light into it. "And they even call this a mine, a mine!"

Jessy wondered vaguely how many shades of green Legolas could go through before he threw-up.

"This is no mine... it's a tomb!" The green disappeared from Legolas's face as he grabbed an arrow. 

"Goblins!"

"We should not have come here, get out! Make for the Gap of Rohan!" Boromir shouted, backing up, his hand at the hilt of his sword.

"No!" Gimli wailed, making a grab for the fallen Dwarven warriors, as if to make sure it was really there. A large tentacle slithered between Jessy's legs, unnoticed. Suddenly Frodo fell face forward, and was dragged quickly through Jessy's legs, knocking her over. Boromir was first to get to him, hacking furiously at the tentacles, trying to find the one holding Frodo. Jessy started to get up, just as the last of the Fellowship ran past her. A sudden arm heaved her up onto her feet. It was Gandalf; apparently, she was not the last one. Jessy drew her blades, and ran after the Kraken, hacking and slicing. A large, slimy tentacle barely missed hitting her as she hacked at it.

"Into the mines!!" Ten of the eleven ran into the caves, a stunned Frodo being carried by Boromir. Darkness enveloped the group once again, as the Kraken tore down the mine doors. "We have no choice, we are to go through the Mines of Moria." The regret in Gandalf's voice was very audible. The wet and miserable group trekked toward the East mine exit. They followed Gandalf's lead for a few hours, before he called to make camp for the night.

Once again, the men separated from the girls to make a little room. This time, however, Elizabeth did not make her bed next to Legolas. As soon as she lay down, Jessy could see Legolas break into a weak grin. Aragorn noticed this and came up to him, a larger smile on his face. The two conversed rapidly in some form of an Elvish language. By the end of the conversation, Legolas looked noticeably better.

Jessy lay down, her eyes wide open. She listened to Elizabeth's breathing; it was slow. She was asleep. Jessy lay awake, the sound of snores eventually reached her ears. At least an hour or so dragged by, but she still couldn't sleep. She listened hard to the snores. She only heard eight sets. Someone was awake, and there was no one keeping watch. Jessy got up slowly and as quietly as she could. Standing, she took her time to walk quietly past the nine men, partly to see who was awake, and partly to get to a good spot to sit. Eight of the men were reasonably close together. Frodo was slightly apart from the rest, and the only one whose face she couldn't see. She stopped walking and looked at him. He was moving slightly.

She walked to the outskirts of the camp, and rested against a pillar, she could see most of the room from her angle. Jessy let her head thunk against the wall. '_Oww… damn, that hurt.' _

Jessy closed her eyes, letting herself space, despite her throbbing head. '_Elves only need to sleep a few hours a day... I should get up and at least pretend to sleep pretty soon...' _There seemed little need to; his hearing would probably tell him she was awake or something elf-ish like that.

'_How in the world am I going to save Boromir, anyway? At least I made a deal for help, and if any of them dies, the deal is broken... at least I've got that. Unless she gets kicked out of the Fellowship... who would I go with? Would the Fellowship let me stay? How could I possibly save Boromir, Haldir, and Theoden King when I'm not even there...?Will Galadriel know about us? What happens after this is all over? Can I really do this?' _Jessy finally gave up thinking on the confusing subject after nearly a half-hour and headed back to her makeshift bed. Their seemed to be no point in asking herself questions she had no hope of answering. _'This all sucks so much.'_

They were stuck. Again. "I have no memory of this place." Gandalf sat down on a large piece of broken stair. The rest of the company sat down to wait until he remembered where they were off to next. Sam was cooking something that smelled like some form of meat, and he was using the last of the spices that he brought. Elizabeth had "forgiven" Legolas, and was once again sticking to his every move. Needless to say, Legolas wasn't all that thrilled about it, but he wasn't about to snap at her again any time soon. Jessy was watching it all from a small part of the room that enabled her to see almost everything, with few blind spots, like she always did. Boromir and Aragorn were watching Legolas suffer, and having a conversation, Frodo had an angst partner, (Gimli) and Merry and Pippin were having a 'conversation,' and on occasion, sneaking a glance at Sam's cooking food.

"Boromir, what do you think of Lady Elizabeth's intentions? I hold doubt's about her loyalty to the Fellowship." Aragorn muttered. Boromir glanced at him, the smirk on his face from watching the elf suffer fading. (Boromir doesn't like, or moreover trust, elven folks)

"As do I, Aragorn. Why did she not tell us the Password to open the Gate's of Moria?"

"I do not know, that is what worries me." Aragorn said, withholding the part about how he had noticed she would stare greedily at the Ring. He had seen Boromir look at the Ring with lust, too. But now was not the time to talk about Boromir, now, Elizabeth was the potential threat.

CRASH!! "Brandybuck! Took! Get back here!!" Sam was currently yelling at the mischievous pair that was currently fleeing in terror, whilst attempting to eat the hot-off-the-pan meat. Sam was chasing after Merry and Pippin, who were running in circles around the camp. Legolas was frozen in mid-flee, Elizabeth's hand still on his shoulder, Frodo had stopped from his conversation with Gandalf, presumably about Gollum, and Gimli had paused in his silent smoking. Gandalf had ignored them, still talking to Frodo who was only half paying attention at the time. Boromir and Aragorn had stopped mid-conversation, Boromir's mouth still open, but his eyes following the three, and Jessy was watching the trio now making circles around Legolas and Elizabeth.

A few seconds followed in silence, before much needed laughter broke out between the tense Fellowship. After the laughter died down, the Fellowship noticed that Sam had caught the two, and was holding the last of the meat they stole (not even a small Hobbit-sized handful) and giving them both a stern talking to. Boromir was watching the three, mouth still open.

A few people coughed before going back to their original doings. Except Gimli and Frodo, they had stopped their angsting and were now talking to each other in a much more cheerful tone. A few more minutes passed before Gandalf said "Ah-ha! It's this way."

"He's remembered!"

"No, but when in doubt, Perigrin Took, always follow your nose." The Fellowship packed up the little they had gotten out and hurried after Gandalf. Aragorn and Boromir glanced at each other; they would re-start their conversation again. The journey to Hall Twenty-one was long, and boring. The next three hours or so would drag by slowly.

Gimli was still happy. For now, anyway, but it would be spoilt soon enough. Jessy was feeling slightly queasy, the battle and fall of Gandalf was coming soon. The night in Hall Twenty-one was quiet. Elizabeth bed down next to Legolas's bed waiting hopefully. No such luck. Legolas turned around from his conversation with Gandalf and stopped. "... Mitherander, I believe I will take watch tonight." Gandalf opened his mouth, forming a question but shut it again once he caught sight of Elizabeth.

"Of... course, Master Legolas." Jessy rolled her eye's at Elizabeth ever-failing attempts, and make her bed slightly outside the camp of males. After all, she didn't want them to know she snored. Or at least, did. She didn't know if Elizabeth's... "changes" had changed that. One by one, she watched as the Fellowship fell asleep, before finally falling asleep herself.

'_Why? Why isn't it working!? It should be_, _theirs no reason not to fall madly in love with me! ... Right? What am I thinking!? I'm perfect. Even if Leggy's not. I know! I need something to let Leggy see how good a person I am, how caring! I mean, telling him of my stories of home and how my uncle beat and raped me doesn't seem to work. He won't even admit that his daddy, evil king Whatever-his-name-is is a meanie like my uncle!' _ Then, outof the blue, she thought, and she hatched a plan. A plan that would make or break the outcome of just how much Legolas (and the Fellowship) loved (ß coughcoughtoleratedcoughcough) her. '_I'll break the deal, though... oh well, who cares, anyway? She's replaceable. Legolas will love me!'_

What will happen next!?!? What is Elizabeth's evil plan!?!?!? Why am I using way to many punctuations?!?! ... I don't really know. I'll think of something!! By the way, I now have a spell check!

'Neway, she hatched an evil plan! Whoo-hoo? Well, honestly, I don't know if you all noticed, but lately, this has been going kinda nowhere, but don't worry, it'll start wrapping up soon. I think. Hope. Whatever. All in all, I think this story isn't going to last very long, not even fiveteen chapters, for sure, probably not even thirteen. Also, I've noticed that I haven't put much of Jessy's thoughts in here lately, I suppose I'm running out of Jessy-like things to say. Or something like that. I'm also starting another story, a Hellsing story! (Anime, a Japanese cartoon, pretty much)

... Am I a nerd or what?

Also, I've got more budding story ideas, one involves a white-wanna-be 'gangsta' homie-G, a blonde ditz, and one sane person. Who has ADHD (-- not a set thing, thinking about taking it away), is colorblind, and is borderline genius. I'm also tempted to add some others, maybe an anime-freak, a serious LOTR fan, a goth/emo, but I think I should just stick with three or four. They pretty much just get dumped into a river/lake (some sort of body of water) near Rivendell, maybe, and it all goes downhill from there. Or something of that sort, what do you all think about it?


	7. Under new management

Well, I'm definitely REALLY sorry on how much I've been slacking off. When was the last time I even updated? December '07? Eesh… well, the severe writers block my finals, sudden increase in school work, spring fever, and trying to see if it's even legal for me to get a job this summer has dissipated greatly. I can now think of story stuff and not concentrate all my time and creativity on finals! Sweet. Hopefully, this will continue. Hopefully.

It was some early time of day, and Gandalf was contemplating hard, straining his memory to the limits to remember where they were going, and he was, as usual, doing remarkably well. The Northern Arch, and the light they had been following was just around the corner, and Jessy wished it wasn't.

"Gandalf, where are we?" Frodo asked, yawning.

"The Northern Arch, just about."

"Oh." came Frodo's reply. Jessy looked up, and indeed, they were entering an arch. Rounding the corner, the Fellowship spotted the light source, a door to their right. They entered slowly, Gandalf and Gimli in the front, surveying the damage.

"A tomb?" it was Frodo. He stooped down to an engraving on the front of a long, white slab of stone on which another long, oblong block of stone rested. Gandalf quickly moved next to him, reading the ancient runes.

"These are Daeron's Runes, such as were used of old in Moria," said Gandalf. "Here is written in the tongues of Men and Dwarves:

BALIN SON OF FUNDIN

**LORD OF MORIA."**

The Fellowship stepped slightly aside from Gimli who approached the tomb, hood cast over his head, just watching for a few minutes as the mourning dwarf fell to his knees and traced the runes with a gloved hand. The silence was broken as Elizabeth let out an overzealous sob and flung herself into the stunned ellon's (meaning male elf) unraised arms. Gandalf strode over to a dwarf skeleton and plucked a dusty, rotting book from the corpse's hands. A few of the Fellowship looked up at Gandalf, waiting anxiously. He opened the book carefully, trying not to destroy the fragile book.

"It appears to be a record of the fortunes of Balin's folk." Gandalf began reading silently. The Fellowship looked back, a few of the braver and more curious members beginning to wander, mainly Pippin and Merry. Soon after Legolas came to his senses and began to realize just who had been buried in his abdomen, crying loudly and dramatically for a few minutes. He patted Elizabeth's shoulder gingerly, feeling sorry for the girl, but still wary. She took the pat zealously and made a sudden loud sob, squeezing the poor ellon's waist hard enough to make his eyes bulge slightly.

Jessy detached herself from the group, exploring the room; they were going to have a battle here very soon, so she might as well scope out the place and look for a good spot. She just hoped the Fellowship didn't notice her odd behavior. At the time, unbeknownst to her, Aragorn had noticed her explore, but thought nothing of it, still comforting his stricken friend.

"Ah! I've found it, listen to this!" Gandalf's excited voice came, drawing the Fellowship's attention.

"_We drove out orcs from the great gate and guard_--- I think; the next word is blurred: probably _room_--- _we slew many in the bright--- _I think--- _sun in dale…"_ he continued reading the passage, looking for the key information.

"…The Chamber of Records," came Gimli's voice, but Jessy was only half paying attention, scouring the to-be battleground.

"It is grim reading, I fear their end was cruel. Listen!" His words caught Jessy's attention. It was nearly time. "_We cannot get out. We cannot get out. They have taken the Bridge and second hall…" _There it was! A corner with several skeletons around it, angled just so they seemed to create a wide fortress. Harder to get in that out, and you can't be sneaked up upon. Perfect. Their was silence in the room as they realized the horror or what would have been a valiant battle. "Come, we must leave this place," Gandalf advised.

"Which way shall we go?" Boromir asked.

"Back to the hall, come now, for we must leave if we ever wish to see daylight." no sooner than the words left Gandalf's mouth did it happen. A large crashing noise sounded from the well. But not like it should have. It wasn't Pippin, it was… Sam?

This couldn't be good. Gandalf's aghast stare quickly turned to anger. "Samwise! No, Samwise is too good, Sam the Fool! Do you realize what you may have unleashed upon us?" came Gandalf's enraged speech over the continuing sound of the bucket and skull. Merry, who had been nearby, had managed to grab onto part of the skeleton, but with little avail. Sam's downcast eyes failed miserably to hide his guilt.

"Gandalf, I see little point in unleashing your anger on Samwise, but do we still have ti-" Aragorn's question was interrupted by a loud booming sound from the deep, followed minutes later by the sound of high, harsh laughter and horn-calls.

"We have no time left." Gandalf looked around at the Fellowship, lingering on Frodo.

"Barr all the doors, we may still be able to fight our way out!" came Aragorn.

"No! Leave the East door ajar, we must not get shut in." rivaled Gandalf. "If we can, we must make our exit through the East door."

Boromir rushed forward to pull the door shut, barely dodging the black arrows. "They have a cave Troll." He said, panting for breath through his sarcastic remark.

"…Joy." came Jessy's equally sarcastic remark.

"Isn't it always?" he grinned.

"Boromir! Stop chatting and help bar the doors!" came Aragorn as he caught an ax from Legolas, who had managed to detach himself from an unhappy looking Elizabeth. Gandalf glanced at Jessy for a second and then motioned at the hobbits that were in a small knot, weapons drawn, and talking nervously, before motioning at the back wall. Jessy blinked twice before getting Gandalf's gist to heard the hobbits to the back and keep them calm.

'Why me? Always has to be me…' Jessy strode over to the fidgeting hobbits that glanced at her with a nod and continued talking. "Lords, if Alex may, Alex would suggest ye lords to move to the back half of the room." Jessy gave a pointed look to Frodo. He met her stare for a second before nodding.

"Come on, we'd best follow the lady's advice." The rest followed Frodo cautiously. The orcs were near; they'd be at the door in less than two minutes, probably. Jessy fingered her knifes hilt as the first wave of orc hit the aging, wooden door. Literally. Watching as the first orc broke a hole in the door, only to be shot by Legolas.

Few orcs slipped by in the beginning, but as the door became more eroded, more began to get past the first line of defense. Which left Jessy, Elizabeth, and the hobbits.

Dodging her first orc, she ran her one of her knives into the orcs gut, standing stock-still. She had never killed anything remotely humanoid before. _'Move, Jess, Move! You or them, you or them!' _Her mind screamed at her. Forcing herself to push the dying orc off her, Jessy noticed an orc charging at her in an alarming pace, just barely managing to stab this one in the face. She shoved the dead orc off her blade and found her next target, forcing herself to get lost in the thrill of the kill, the adrenalin, and new sensation of power; her conscience locked away like a criminal with no bail…

A few minutes passed, and many orcs lay dead, the rest had fled, discouraged by the small groups fierceness. They would be no easy prey. But during the distraction of the orcs, Frodo had let his eyes off the cave troll he had been dodging for a second too long. In that brief moment, the troll had skewered the hobbit. Jessy paused her spree, her knife in the brain of a goblin, her foot resting on its chest, ready to push the corpse off the blade. The rest of the Fellowship all paused, before charging the troll with renewed vigor, overpowering it in a matter of minutes in an impressive feat managed by Sam, Merry, Legolas, and Gimli.

Jessy's sense suddenly hit her like a ton of brick to the face, and she yanked the knife out and sheathed it, sprinting toward Frodo. The timeline had already been messed up, who knew what else could have been changed? Aragorn and Gandalf beat her to Frodo checking the injured hobbit, only to find he was alive and decently well. "You should be dead," Aragorn stated plainly. "That spear would have skewered a wild boar." Frodo slowly unbuttoned his shirt slightly, revealing mithril chain mail. Jessy let out a relieved sigh and leaned her shoulder against a pillar, while Gimli told Frodo of the pricey armor he wore.

"Come, we must go through the East door." Gandalf said, hurrying the Fellowship. Jessy was distracted from Aragorn helping up Frodo when she felt the pillar she was leaning against move slightly. It couldn't have been a tremor, she glanced at the pillar she was leaning against and immediately straightened up, looking away.

That has been no pillar, it had been an elven prince she had just leaned against! Minding he didn't seem to notice or care, but Jessy looked away none the less, feeling slightly stupid and embarrassed.

Gandalf lead the Fellowship down the steep, narrow stairs in near pitch black. But Jessy was glad for it because she was sure some part of her was still flushed from embarrassment. The other part of her wanted to start laughing very hard for no particular reason she could think of. They made it to the bottom of the staircase in what had to be record time, but only to be surrounded by thousands of orcs and goblins. They leered hungrily at the Fellowship, ready to strike. But a sudden low rumble stopped them. Their harsh laughter turned to shrill, confused cries of uncertainty; Gimli waved his ax threateningly and gave a short yell, hoping to scare the uncertain creatures away.

Jessy swallowed harshly and tried to remember which direction they were to run. "What is this new devilry?" Boromir asked.

"A Barlog, a demon from the deep… run!" Gandalf urged, with little reason to. The Fellowship took off near immediately toward the stairs that would lead them to the bridge of Khazad-dum. Jessy was near first, more nervous than she could imagine, even forgetting the stairs were out.

She could see the stairs beginning to coming up, she glanced behind her, Boromir was less than two feet from her heels. She looked in front of herself only to see the stairs coming up fast, and a large gap coming up. She was too close and going to fast to stop. There was only one thing she could do. Jump. Jessy sped up as much as she could, but feeling no improvement in the short amount of time and jumped as late as she could, reaching for the staircase, and getting it. She rolled down a few stairs before managing to grab on to a surprisingly convenient hold. She looked up to see Legolas pull Boromir from the edge on the stairs.

"Are you alright, Lady Alex?" came Boromir's question. Jessy nodded and gave a small smile. She backed up somewhat as Legolas jumped, clearing the gap easily, unfortunately a little easily, as he bumped into Jessy slightly. Jessy put her hand on his should to regain her balance.

"Are you hurt?" he asked.

"No, Alex is fine," she said, only being partially successful at biting back a small smile, attempting not to laugh as she was reminded of their earlier situation, strangely. She glanced across the gap; seeing Elizabeth's death glare, Jessy immediately dropped her hand, the smile disappearing. Legolas glanced between the two females, hiding a frown. He turned around fully as the rest of the Fellowship finalized their plan to toss the hobbits, Elizabeth, and Gimli across. Jessy backed-up from Legolas, partly to give him room to help steady the incoming people, and partly because Elizabeth was being tossed first.

Legolas caught her bridal-style before setting her down much to fast for her liking. She huffed slightly and walked towards Jessy, staring at her evenly, calmly. It was more frightening than any death glare. "Servant." were Elizabeth's only words. Jessy stared at her for a moment.

"Master..." Jessy said cautiously


	8. Special Notice

Okay, special notice time!

I've just recently gotten two near-flames, and I now have three, all of which have hit certain key points, so I suppose I shall explain upon them.

"She's a particularly foul-mouth girl"

I understand that she is quite foul mouthed, but I suppose you should keep in mind two things, the most recent survey took says that a teenager, on average, curses about one hundred times a day, and that two; if you were suddenly dragged into a foreign world that SHOULD be fiction, you would be entitled to swear a bit, at least until you've adjusted better. I can't imagine someone being completely cool with being transported to a supposedly fictionus world, anyway.

"This story just sucks"

I suppose I never made it clear, but this story, for me, anyway, was just an outlet for those annoyingly childish ideas that just seem to keep bugging you, no matter what you do. So, I wrote them down. I do hope that you understand that I DON'T believe this particular piece of literature to be worked on all that much, just enough to be bearable.

And to all the readers who actually like this story: I apologies for needing to post this, and hope you now better understand why I post so rarely.


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